Saturday, January 29

spoiler: cranky post ahead

Eddie Vedder - Guaranteed

Between running errands, cooking enchiladas and almost blowing up the bread machine, it kept crossing my mind today that "this time tomorrow I'll be ___..." While the mental images were scenes reminiscent of 'Locked Up Abroad', with good grace I'll actually en route in t-minus 24 hours...

I'm chalking up my blues as residual demons from this past semester or so as opposed to anxious nerves... with 50-odd pounds of battered boots, camera equipment and an one awkward assortment of socks,  it's game-on —

I'm ready.
For too long I've been worn out, crawling out of my skin over frustrations of which I had no control. For too long I've been overwrought and disenchanted — buttttt what I mean to say is...basically I've been a ole' peach. I don't want to label Amsterdam as 'escapism' as much as it is a chance to redeem myself. Everything about the academics and possible Fulbright opportunities it may bring thrill me (and obvs the possibility of doing my thesis on the city's roller derby team ...RIGHT!?)... as do the curving canals and night biking and wandering buskers and photo adventures...
It's a fresh start. For a lack of better word: awesome.

In all the times I've been unsure in recent days, going now is the one thing that just feels right. Sad to leave bits and pieces of my heart back home and in New York, absolutely, but I feel a total lull. A calm before the storm? Maybe.

Regardless, it's showtime. I'm so ready. Here goes nothing.

The Kinks - "This Time Tomorrow"

See you kids on the other side.

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